Late Night Chester’s


Chester died three years ago.

All that year I’ve been dreaming and hoping to see him and his band live. I rarely wanted something similar. And most of the time I did gave up on things I wanted. But this time I have promised myself that I’ll do it, and I’ll be there when they come to Budapest. I knew it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I wouldn’t remember if Facebook doesn’t remind me. Now in the middle of the night, watching the picture, I smile. Memories. All there to remind us how far did we get since certain points. Memories do remind us that we need to be proud of ourselves. Looking back and witnessing how we saved our own lives. Damn that is a pure victory 🙏❤

Chester’s tragedy was one important push. Was one very strong slap, and a big help for me to open my eyes.
To see that I must stop. Whatever I am doing I must stop. I was not happy. My body was not happy. My mind was shrunk and trapped in trying to keep me on the wrong track. My soul was screaming silently for help. And my Angeles desperately trying to save me from myself.

Chester’s tragedy opened my eyes to see my own personal tragedy. To see how much I gave up on who I really am. To see that I am pouring my love, my energy, and my whole life into a black hole. Never enough. Never good. Never balanced. Never happy. Never healthy. Never seen. Never celebrated. Never appreciated. Never listened. Never nourished. Never loved genuinely.

“Come on, drop it, it’s not a tragedy. Is just a concert, there will be many more. They will come back and then we will go. You’ll see……”

The concert I have dreamed about it was two weeks before Chester died.

#loveeachheartbeat🦋 #doitforyourself #myannas


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